i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sorry about my life...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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