She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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