Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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