school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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