What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
