I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
