What a fucking waste of an outfit
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
