Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your penis caused this!
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