Having a random hookup so left but love u
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
