Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he fucked my hip out of place.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
