We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
