I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
