i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
