he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
