I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Panties = found
Randomize
