I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize