So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
