well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
