the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize