are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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