Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
