Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
