that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Can Purell be used as lube?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
