real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
