I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
