I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is Oprah even human
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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