dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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