i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
MIDGETS
????
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
