K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My ass is underappreciated
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize