So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You did what with his pubic hair?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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