I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
