dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
