dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
