I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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