When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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