why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
