I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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