Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize