All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My vagina is officially offended.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
