guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
