i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
