dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
