this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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