We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
