you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
