they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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