Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
