you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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