OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
