Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
