How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
