just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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