You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
