I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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