Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
