Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
