we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
