Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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