This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize