I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
