they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
