Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
